last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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