Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
