I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
