this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
