I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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