Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sober January is a disaster.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
