I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Im part way to drunk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
