happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
