how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
