just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
