Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
