On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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