i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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