You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
