We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
