i don't like sucking hair
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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