A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
