Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
