i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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