u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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