Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize