the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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