I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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