Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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