Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
two words...techno handjob
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
