yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
