I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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