Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
