That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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