"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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