my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
