Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My room smells like vodka and shame
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
