GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
