I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
