i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
