The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
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