i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
