FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize