I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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