He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
