it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
