i just wanna soil my oats bro
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
