so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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