I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Screwed.edu
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
