If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
