I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
