Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
