First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
as a side note pls kill me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
