I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize