If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I touched a dick in church today
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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