Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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