..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize