I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
