If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
