Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
