it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
