I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize