all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
