The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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