My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
