Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
